Water

Yes, it seems something is in the water again.
                                                         
Some mystical, magical water that I seem to never be able to get my hands on. Each day this week I have woke up to more pregnancy announcements. More posts on complaining about pregnancy. 20 year bulimic alcoholics winding up pregnant with twins and no one even knew she had a guy in her life. THOSE are things that just boil my poor blood and bring out some very hot tears. I hate doubting God. I don't like that feeling. Seeing things like that happen in front of my eyes just makes me want to scream at my creator. What? Why? How? What have I done so wrong? Its a lonely deep feeling that I just don't like.


I'm sure if Facebook didn't exist I wouldn't know about more than half of these "oopsie" pregnancies and I'd have a different focus. I would be going on about my merry little way trying to figure out why my body is the way it is.
It is just unnerving the people that plan or don't plan these pregnancies and are no where near capable of taking care of a child, or another child. I hear comments like "oh I want to be pregnant so bad, I just don't want the baby..." WHAT?  >.<

Talk about wanting to scream!!!! 

So God, if you're reading my blog...and with whoever else is reading this....could you speak to me? Speak to all of us. Let us know you are here. I sure hate questioning you, and being so angry. I need to let go and trust in YOUR plan, not mine. That is such a hard thing to do. When you want something so bad, it is hard to let go of trying so hard in every single way. Would you be with all of us?


I need You now.

Laters, Baby.

Just out of curiosity, I wonder how many of you "get" my title?! Can you tell what I am reading at the moment?

Ever want a libido lift, a rush of desire? Pick up 50 Shades of Grey. Holy Moly, it is insane. Talk about dtd all the time now! I surprised DH with candles, and ordered him to bring home whipped cream. And played some jazz music. Lets leave it at that! (these kinds of things have become the norm now!)
We'll just say that this month has been a busy ttc month...well, not really ttc...more just connecting with each other. Igniting the flame again? Its nice to feel close again and not be so stressed. I also think partly that going  Paleo brought back my libido...I haven't been this way in years. I feel young again! (not that I'm old, but at times my body and mind feel 100.) I'm not too sure how many of you out there have read, liked, disliked, enjoyed, not enjoyed this trilogy--so could you, if you have leave your review as a comment below? I'm fascinated to know what reading these books has done in the IF world *wink* *wink*


Hubby is working a whole lot. I make sure we get at least an hour a day together, whether that is before or after work. Cooking together, watching tv together, gardening, walking---whatever it may be, I can not let us become distant due to work. Quality time in our marriage is so important to me.


My life changed on Sunday. For the better. I will never be the same person again. I am still in a daze and on cloud 9 over what happened. I vowed from that moment to never let anyone walk all over me again, to stand firm in my beliefs, to enjoy life to my best ability, and to say how I feel all of the time. I am not, and will not ever be who I was for so long. It was one of the happiest days of my 28 years of being.

 It is very private and personal, so those of you who would like to know, feel free to email me at mr.mrs.schoales@hotmail.com

Looking forward to some feedback :)

AF Came and went.

It's funny the night after I last posted, AF showed up.. only a day late. That is a good thing, right? I think so.

I am seriously wondering when my life is going to slow down. I've gotten so much good news recently that I just can't believe I'm living in MY REALITY. Surely, this is someone else's life, right? In my 28 years, never has there been so many blessings poured over me. I'm hesitant, because don't you think I could jinx it?! I'm just overwhelmed with happiness, and joy. I'm grateful for the big changes about to happen in my life, though scary they are only going to be WONDERFUL changes.

I'm sorry I don't much update anymore. Not only am I really busy most days, but I just feel like because I'm ttc naturally--there really isn't anything new. I know soon, once we get new insurance plans--I will be heading straight back to my RE and trying new things--possibly adding Clomid again. For now, we are trying all of the natural ways. I think I may invest in PRESEED this cycle... hey, why not?! We are not trying so hard that we get disappointed with bfn's, I think because we are focused hard on all of the other things going on.

Hope to hear from some of you out there, I miss your comments and support!

Catch up

A bit about what is new:

No AF. She decided to be late again (just 1 day so far). I was so thrilled with my body last cycle! I was sure it was going to happen again :/  I've tested 3x and all BFNs so I'm pretty sure she is just screwed up again.

I've gone paleo!!!!!!! What is that? It is a new lifestyle change and its clean eating. It is also called the caveman diet, but I hate the word diet so I prefer to use the term Paleo! I have lost 8 lbs in 7 days and am almost down one size. Just from completely changing EVERYTHING that goes in my mouth. I haven't really worked out much until yesterday when I did a lot of laps in the pool, water aerobics and underwater situps. I love doing exercises in the pool because I feel no pain and am able to do more, longer. My acne has also gone WAY DOWN and I just all around feel more energized and--whats the word.... um, normal? I don't feel so "off" all of the time or as severely "moody."

DH's job is going GREAT! I sure miss him, though. I see him for a few minutes at night and for a few minutes in the morning (going to be hard to ttc!) We are so much more financially stable now...its such a relief to not have that stress at all. Heaven knows we don't need that stress.

I'll take some pictures in a week or two and update the changes in my body!

On a sad note, someone I know took their life in the early morning hours of July 18th. I was so saddened to hear the news and my prayers and condolences go to friends and family. I can not say who it is, for privacy reasons, but it hit close to home and has been tough to get through. I know this person is no longer in pain physically or emotionally--I'm just so heartbroken. Extra prayers for this family? Thanks.

Good luck to all the ttc'ers out there, and congrats to new mommies, and all those bfp's!

Catching Up

There isn't really a whole lot to catch you all up on. I'm am adjusting to DH's new work schedule which changes weekly. I'm learning to lay down and sleep next to him any hour of the day just to get some QT with him. I'm learning to wake up at 2 or 3am and cook breakfast for us. I'm learning how to run a household myself and take on ALL the responsibilities, not half...which is kind of difficult for me, due to my major back problems. I've been having a ton more spasms but I do know that I can do it! I'll take on all the dirty work!!!

DH is determined for me to be a stay at home housewife, and I'm not too sure that is what I want to do. Yeah, I'd probably want to be a stay at home MOM some day, but just housewife? I'm not so sure of that. He wants to turn my office into a office/craft room. That would be fun and all, but I feel the need to be outside doing something, and serving a purpose. We'd love the extra income, but its not needed such as before. I don't know that I could get used to so much quietness so often. I told DH I'm still going to be putting in some applications and considering school in the next few months. I just really want to take things slow and adjust and find a good balance in our home. We used to go on 4 or 5 dates a week, now I have no idea when our next date will be! We were lucky last night DH was available for a little bit and his parents took us out to a British pub to celebrate his new job! It was super fun and relaxing...but I can't wait to go on a date with just him and I.

We started a future baby fund and that was SUPER exciting. We don't know if one day we will need that for fertility treatments or to purchase baby things, but knowing we are securing funds for either is a wonderful feeling!!! We also decided to start saving for a new car! I'm already browsing to see what would be good for us for now, and a future family.

I left a few ttc groups online...I thought my focus had become out of whack and some groups were in a baby boom, I swear! It wasn't healthy to watch pregnancy announcements daily and then see women who went from the pain of ttc to complaining about this and that and then giving birth and still complaining. I sure hope I NEVER do any of that.

I also made a big personal decision and still wondering if it was the right one, but I'm on my knees often praying about it, and just keeping my faith and staying positive. I really feel this next year is going to be the best of my adult life and the best of our marriage, I see things changing and becoming adventuresome!

I've really got to get back to some projects I'm doing. Glad to catch up with all of you!

Life at it's busiest!

Busy as a bee. Constantly!
I feel awful for not being the good blogger I once was and keeping my dear readers up to date. Life has turned around completely. For the better!

No, No, I'm not pregnant--yet.

But, it seems almost every other area is slowly starting to become amazing! DH got a new job, a wonderful paying job, and it is such an amazing opportunity for our family! We have had DH's 5yo son A LOT! First time ever, we saw him 4 days in a row this last week. DH and I spent some time just crying. Crying because we were overwhelmed with gratitude. We were so happy and so full of joy to be able to spend that much time to enjoy each other and to be able to parent. We have done many fun and exciting things, and also many pretty normal things. It has really brightened our lives to be around him so very much, and we will soak up every moment that we can. We have also been slowly getting our back yard turned into a back yard and not a weed HELL. I can not wait to have my garden and my reading spot near our fruit trees. I can not wait to have grass and a pool! I've been spending a lot of time also trying to keep up with the nonprofit 1in10, and keep up with the house work while DH was training for his job. He got his van and starts driving on his own tonight! I will need to get used to the over night shifts, the 4am shifts, the middle of the day shifts. We will have to get used to sleeping whenever, NOT seeing each other all the time, and how to sleep without waking each other up! It is all new but very exciting. We have never had the opportunity to have MORE than enough money, we will NOT be living from pay check to pay check. I am now really considering whether to go back to school or find a job close to home. I CAN consider this now, and feel privileged for it!
As far as ttc, yes, we still are going at it naturally. Ovulation should be later this week, if it does occur on it's own. Still stuck at the same weight, but plan on starting a new workout program to see it that will help jump start my body, just grateful to not have gained any!

Well, I have a ton of work to do to prepare for the party we are hosting tomorrow for the 4th of July! 18 guests and we are joining our block party! Whew. I am going to post a few pictures from our fun times with the little rascal! Back to work I go!

BEACH DAY!
FAMILY (FEET) 2012
 LOVE THIS BOY!
 SILLY FACES! (we were on the front porch watching birds!)
 PRETTY MUCH DESCRIBES US!
SLIP N SLIDE FUN (NO ONE WAS HURT!)
 WE GOT HIM A NEW POOL!
 DADDY IS NOW THE TICKLE MONSTER!

Take care readers, I really look forward to hearing from each of you as it brings me great joy :)