Yes, it seems something is in the water again.
Some mystical, magical water that I seem to never be able to get my hands on. Each day this week I have woke up to more pregnancy announcements. More posts on complaining about pregnancy. 20 year bulimic alcoholics winding up pregnant with twins and no one even knew she had a guy in her life. THOSE are things that just boil my poor blood and bring out some very hot tears. I hate doubting God. I don't like that feeling. Seeing things like that happen in front of my eyes just makes me want to scream at my creator. What? Why? How? What have I done so wrong? Its a lonely deep feeling that I just don't like.
I'm sure if Facebook didn't exist I wouldn't know about more than half of these "oopsie" pregnancies and I'd have a different focus. I would be going on about my merry little way trying to figure out why my body is the way it is.
It is just unnerving the people that plan or don't plan these pregnancies and are no where near capable of taking care of a child, or another child. I hear comments like "oh I want to be pregnant so bad, I just don't want the baby..." WHAT? >.<
Talk about wanting to scream!!!!
So God, if you're reading my blog...and with whoever else is reading this....could you speak to me? Speak to all of us. Let us know you are here. I sure hate questioning you, and being so angry. I need to let go and trust in YOUR plan, not mine. That is such a hard thing to do. When you want something so bad, it is hard to let go of trying so hard in every single way. Would you be with all of us?
I need You now.