Thursday, March 29, 2012

Busy Bee

I've been quite busy this week! Meetings, training, helping organize. Cleaning my house after being sick for over a week. Trying to keep up with every thing and every one!

AF is due in a few days... I have some cramps and have had a lot of trouble sleeping lately. I've been getting the faintest of faint second lines but they are starting to disappear again...This happens to me A LOT. I read something about Chemical Pregnancies and I feel that is what happens with cycles like this. This is just the first time I've had so many of these barely there faint lines. This morning it was so light a non-obsessed person couldn't even see it. I had hope for a couple of days but I decided to let go of that this morning. It is painful but I am alright. I am so very used to it, that it is not a new emotion to me and I'm able to handle it better.

I miss hearing updates from a lot of you guys! Take care out there blogsphere :)

Back to work I go...

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Gloom and Frustrations

Today has been gloomy, stormy and pouring down rain. DH is at work, I've been doing some business things online, housework and dealing with some really frustrating, stubborn dogs. One of those "I feel like snapping" days. I have a feeling that means AF is on her way next week.

 It is so crazy how I can recognize hormones and each step of my cycle since now listening to it so closely to hopefully track ovulation and such. I just feel like I have nothing to say today. Nothing spectacular at least. I am just full of frustration and I know it will pass soon. I will be okay and probably really chipper tomorrow. I just feel awful today. I'm living in this moment...and this moment SUCKS!

On a good note, I had a really great visit with my little stepson yesterday. It was a lot of fun. We were in the middle of coloring Easter pictures when DH mentioned grandpa misses stepson... and we packed up right then and there and brought Grandpa dinner! It was a ton of fun and I just absolutely love that little boy. He was so good and is getting waaay too smart!

Side note: about nine of my cousins/friends had BFP announcements in the month of March (so far...) Sigh...

Friday, March 23, 2012

Just a quick note:

How many of us though dealing with infertility, can look back at where we came from and realize just how much we've been through and just how far we've come? 

I know I came from prepping for daily beatings from ex's, an awful and scary childhood, having to put two kids up for adoption at a very young age, living on the streets and in the back of cars, having to sell drugs to survive, having no family or support around me, feeling alone and lost for YEARS... to now being married to an amazing husband and having the best inlaws, having a beautiful little home, two cars, wonderful friends and supporters in my life, amazing things, three puppies and an unbreakable marriage & love!

Infertility, you can KISS my behind, I'm STRONGER THAN YOU!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

1in10 Website and forum


PCOS is my life. PCOS has taken over my life in every which way possible. Infertility. Weight problems. Mood Swings. Health problems. Acne. Hair in places it shouldn't be. There are so many different things PCOS has brought to my life--good (few) and bad (tons!). A few ladies and myself started a nonprofit for PCOS as I have mentioned before. Our Nonprofit is called 1in10 which represents the amount of women who are diagnosed with PCOS each year.

Head over to to learn about us and to gain more knowledge about PCOS. We have also built a fourm on our webiste: where you can register and join many discussions on PCOS, Endometriosis, TTC and Weight struggles. 1in10 recently signed up for so, come join us there on our encouraging weight loss journeys.

You can also follow my blog for 1in10 here. If you or someone you know suffers from PCOS please send them to our site, our forum and let them know there is help!

If you would like to donate to our nonprofit to help in our research, and progress please do so here through our paypal account.

Thank you so much for all of your support and thoughts!

Monday, March 19, 2012

This crazy thing called Life...

Life. Has crept back up on me again! Life, in the mix of everything going on, has been pretty good. I have been playing matchmaker and have gotten my two best friends hooked up! They have been dating for about a month now, and I love watching two people I love begin to fall in love. We have double dated to hockey games, bowling, sushi... and it is just amazing to look at that, and remember my DH and I several years ago. It reminds me of why and how I fell in love with him.

LOVE is an amazing thing and for sure has been a big part of my life recently. I have felt Love all around. I have a truly amazing husband, some pretty stellar friends, and a huge group of women who have supported me in my PCOS and my IF journey. I haven't felt this loved my entire life!

Laughter. This is truly the greatest medicine and healer of all. Though my laughter recently has been coupled with a pretty grotesque cough, I think that is why I recovered as quickly as I did. Through laughter, I have been able to get over a very nasty Flu and chest cold. One big reason for falling in love with my DH is how often he makes me laugh!!!

Infertility. This has brought me the most knowledge and new coping skills. New friends and realization that others don't belong in my life. This has brought me closer to my DH, and at the same time has let us fall to our knees together desperate and in tears. This journey has been crazy, and I know it is still going to get crazier. My journey will never end... and I will always be growing, learning and loving.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Not Dead, but sure feel like it...

I woke up Monday morning with an awfully sore throat, and pressure in my chest. Throughout the day I wound up throwing up, developing a fever, my whole body ached. I am still suffering from this and it is Wednesday afternoon. I've slept more the past three days than I probably do in an entire month. I feel miserable and I just want this to be over! I want energy and no pain, I have so much to do and here I am sicker than sick. I'm sure DH is tired of spending so much time alone and having to serve me soups and nutrition shakes and adjust my pillows every few hours...

Say an extra prayer if you pray... that I get over this asap.

I want my life back!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Good things are happening!

First off, of course my laptop came back practically brand new and early! That was exciting. So glad it crashed and burned within my warranty (ends this month!) and that I only had to pay for shipping. God knew it was going to happen, and let it happen at the right time. A blessing in disguise!

Second- DH and I are back to working events with our wedding planner. It is such a blessing and totally fun! To work weddings, parties, and events is pretty exciting and always a challenge and learning experience. I have a feeling this year is going to be much better than last!!! This is OUR year!

Third- My old boss is in from Costa Rica. I worked for her about four years ago, in her office. She is a wonderful Chiropractor. Very holistic based, and has been in the profession for 16 years. Well, she remembered me a computer genius (I am far, far, far from that, but it was neat that she thought of me that way...) and got a hold of me via Facebook to ask if I could come take a look at her laptop while she was still in the states, and she'd adjust me for free. Then a day or so later--I guess she heard or found out about our infertility struggles, and called me to tell me a couple of stories about her past patients. Each of these stories were heart breaking, involving many years of infertility struggles, multiple failed IVF and IUI treatments. Then they came to her. After many adjustments, each of these women were able to successfully get pregnant! I learned all about adjustments and how nerves affect your uterus, your ovaries, all of your organs. I learned how chiropractics can help with many, many health issues. She offered to do a series of adjustments on me for free!! And--she'd adjust DH too, just so he could feel better!!! We had our first round of adjustments on Wednesday and go again tomorrow morning! I'm so excited to try something new on our IF journey, and I know that it is no guarantee, but it gives me hope. If anything--my back will feel much, much better and I'll be able to workout with more ease!

Speaking of working out, I've been at a plateau for weeks and weeks---stuck at a 19lb weight loss, and I think I finally overcame that!!! I'm now at a 23lb weight loss! I can't see it anywhere... I see DH's weight loss more than I do mine. He's lost 14lbs. But I had to go buy new "undergarments" because mine were just falling off my tush. So maybe I lost a little bit in that area? Hubs says around my rib cage too...I still have a long ways to go but am so very excited to continue. I have a goal to lose at least 20 more by May when we go on vacation! A size or two smaller :) And by the end of summer I'd like to have lost  a total of 30-40lbs more than this 23 so far. If that makes sense?!!

Okay, off to run errands for the day. I am excited to be able to blog again!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012


I'm back!!!

So thrilled to have my laptop back and get back to working on 1in10 and blogging here again! I will update you more tomorrow, just wanted to let my amazing readers know that I'm back!!!!

Happy Hump Day, ey? :P

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


I wrote this yesterday...

Dear WORD: INfertile. UNfertile. NOTfertile. You are just a word...But listen up, you will NEVER mold me to be INsecure, UNsexy, and NOT the most loving woman I can be. You are not my label but just my situation. You are not my fate but just my journey. You will never burn my marriage but just shine light through your darkness. You have not chained me down but set me free to meet more amazing women just like me. You have not made me stupid but just given me more knowledge than I could ever fathom. You will not make me a failure but more a Survivor. I will learn to embrace you and not let you be my enemy.

Thursday, March 1, 2012


Letting all of my fabulous readers know, yes. I am still alive.

Husband and I are pretty much recovered from illness...we are just overwhelmed with stress and being busy. Still waiting on my laptop, maybe another week or week and a half before I can get back to blogging regularly.

I still can't believe it is already March! Why is it when you are older time flies by so quickly and you want it to just slow down, and when you are younger it seems like time is going by waaaaay too slow?!!

I want to give a big shoutout to my fellow blogger Crystal who had her triplets a few days ago. They are preemie but thriving in the NICU. Thank you for all you have done for me, and for standing by me through some tough times and encouraging me with gifts and letters. You are an amazing woman and going to be the most AMAZING mother.

Dont forget to visit and like our page, share our page, and blog our page and help spread the word about 1in10 supporting PCOS sufferers. We have our fabulous giveaway coming up in about two weeks which includes a $50 Amazon giftcard and many other amazing things!!!

I'll be back when I can, I miss all of the interaction from all of you!

Cycle Ticker!