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A SUN day afternoon

Woke up. Kissed DH, we ate breakfast.
Dressed and went to church, water Coffee in hand.
Worshiped my Lord † and heard an amazing, amazing message.
Drove down to the beach while blasting oldies with the windows down and wind in our hair.
Had a HUGE and WONDERFUL lunch.
Drove onto the island and walked the streets, taking pictures and buying trinkets.
Held my husband's hand all day long.
He held my waist and whispered endearing words to me all day long.

I think I'm falling in love all over again. Is this possible?!

Today has been a magical and beautiful day in the sun.






 I love our fortunes!!!

As far as ttc goes, AF is almost over. She's real mean this month...has made me really sick a few days. Major clots. (tmi!!!) I'm just happy to move on and keep living. I'm not going to chart this month, I really don't want to. I am just so happy with where my marriage has been emotionally these past few weeks. It is almost like a dream. A really good dream. But it is my reality and I'm loving every day.



Suggestion: take a social networking break (it worked wonders for me!) and get away with your spouse/loved one. Even if just for one night or a few days. Go somewhere... turn off your phones and be kids. Fall in love again. This feeling is so peaceful and perfect. I give my Lord the glory for being in our marriage and showing us forgiveness and mercy. We would NOT be where we are if God was not in our marriage.

Can't wait to hear more about all of you ladies out there! I love following your journeys and hearing feedback and your advice. Leave me a message below if you'd like, and let me know how you are doing!

Happy Sunday!!

Happiest Place on Earth

We decided yesterday to continue our vacationing here, close to home.

We went to Disneyland and California Adventure!!! I had such an amazing and fun-filled day. It felt as if it was just DH and I at Disneyland all by ourselves. No one else, nothing else mattered. We hopped between parks and got on as many rides as possible and planted kisses on each other all day long. It was truly magical!

We ended the night watching the "World of Color" water show at California Adventure. It was spectacular, magical and peaceful to watch! This four year old boy became our little best friend during the show... blonde hair--blue eyes. Reminded me of my son so very much. DH played the "finding a quarter behind his ear" game with him and oh, boy was that kid excited!!!! His father and grandfather just laughed and laughed! Watching DH felt so wonderful. He is and will be a perfect father.

After the water show we were heading back to the tram to get to our car and go home. I stopped off at the bathroom and BAM AF finally showed up! Perfect timing, huh?? She was 9 days late this cycle! I'm getting pretty upset that my cycle is so screwed up lately, but at the same time so excited to start again and move on. I believe all of the recent serious stress has something to do with my pretty messed up cycles. It is quite funny how now I can get excited over AF showing up. My, how things change! For example, I found myself looking at all the double and triple strollers at Disneyland and wondering how many IUI, IVF or Clomid cycles these women had to endure to get their multiples. I laughed and told DH my thoughts and he chuckled because he was thinking the same thing! I do know that multiples can come naturally, it is just when you go through IF like we have, funny ways of thinking start to happen.

I'd like to share some pictures from yesterday (cell phone quality, sorry!) :

Love Disneyland!

 Haunted Mansion

LOVE <3

 World Of Color

Looking forward to a new cycle, peace and love. Looking forward to catching up on all of my blogger sister's posts. Looking forward to summer approaching!

Thought of the day: How is this summer going to be DIFFERENT for you? Better?

Home Sweet Home

We got home from our get away yesterday evening.

Let me tell you, getting away---sure cleanses your soul. It was nice to be away from home, work, reality. Swimming in the hot sun, sleeping peacefully. Laughing with family. Eating special meals together. Celebrating special events. Not a worry in the world. Keeping my phone shut off ON PURPOSE! I didn't want to come home. I wanted it to last longer, I wanted to feel that warmth just one more day. Reality is, I had to come home.

Now, to turn my reality into my own get away, my own peace---my own warmth on a daily basis. I can do it, I will do it. I need to do it. I came home with new reason, new ideas, a full heart and joy in my soul. I don't care about what WAS anymore. Today---just for today, I care about what IS. What WILL BE. I am building my future today. I am loving my surroundings and my life right in this moment.

I will be a mother some day. I will be the most devoted wife for all of my life. I will be a wonderful home maker. I will be proud, I am gorgeous and dedicated. I will grow old with the love of my life. I will build new memories with my best friend. I will enjoy each sunrise and sunset. I will lay my head down at night with music in my ears and laughter in my heart.

I'm letting go of the pain.

I'm starting again.

Welcome home, Amy.

Vacation

I will be gone out of state until May 21st, 2012. I hope to catch up with you all then. Have a wonderful week everyone!

Facebook

I have still had plenty of ups and downs. Life is still pretty stressful and I have many sad moments. Still asking for prayers for strength.


I disabled my Facebook account for now, it just felt right. I can activate it at any time...I just asked a close friend of mine to go in and change my password and not tell me what it is until I'm ready. It may seem silly but I just need a break from reality. No big incident made me want to disable it or anything.. it just popped into my head and felt like something I wanted to do. So many emotions and too many personal things from EVERYONE all over the place. Some ridiculous babble, to some serious anger being posted. Cursing and joking. Grotesque pictures to pregnancy announcements. Fighting and arguing between friends. Sharing about personal things. I was just sick of seeing it all and wanted to feel what life felt like before Facebook. I wanted to be set free from the thought of waking up and diving into every one else's life before facing mine. I want quiet time to myself, I want to work on my life and look at myself and not want to escape so easily into seeing what every one else is up to.

So far, I've gotten no phone calls or texts of "where did you go?!" "I can't see your Facebook anymore!!" I'm not "missed" yet! Ha! I may activate it temporarily on my birthday (Monday the 14th--in 3 days) just because I'd like to feel happy hearing a bunch of "Happy Birthdays" ... then again, how nice would it be to actually get phone calls, texts, and letters instead of the easy Facebook wall post that everyone resorts to now? Nothing is intimate and personal anymore.

So for now I'm taking a Facebook break and just living life the way it used to be long before it was the norm to post every step of your life online. I kind of enjoy the break so far. I probably won't be blogging A LOT, but I will definitely check in and update.

For those of you needing/wanting to talk to me--if you know my phone number--use it! 
Or email me. If you'd like my email address, comment below and I'll happily give it to you.

In the merry month of May!

May is always crazy in my household!
A list of things that happen in May:

• My son's birthday
• Father in law's birthday
• My birthday
• DH's birthday
• Sister in law's birthday
• A billion cousin's birthdays
• Mother's day
• "Cinco de Nana" DH's nana passed away on Cinco de Mayo two years ago, and we all gather to celebrate her life
• This year DH's little brother is graduating HS so we will be going out of state for that (also celebrating our birthdays while there!)
• This year our backsplash is being finalized
• Our house is being tented (sigh) but we will be out of state, so no hassle there (except packing up the house for fumigation)
• DH and I work a lot of weddings and events 

So, as you can imagine this month is crazy! I've been trying my best to stay busy and on top of things. I think I work well under pressure, but sometimes I have my moments of break downs where I just need to run away and breathe (usually I go to the beach!) 

I did just that on Sunday. Boy--that day is hard for me every year. You'd think as time passed, it would be easier and it feels like it is the total opposite! 

 Here are a few pictures at the beach--clearing my head and heart:

A cupcake I brought to enjoy for my little boy.

Coffee, sand, and body surfers. Perfection.

Awh :)

Never let go.

Think I can convince DH and FIL that we NEED a boat? :)


AF is due on my birthday this cycle! JOY JOY JOY. She's been rearing her ugly head pretty late recently so I just have no idea what to expect. I've had tons of cramping since suspected 1DPO though. Not used to that, but then again I've been under a lot of stress recently! A LOT. Who knows what my body is doing inside there. I am still working on weight loss. Stuck at the same weight for a week now---hopefully that will change soon! I am glad that I get this chance to get away for a bit and clear my head and hopefully come home to less stress and get back on track. I've been doing a lot of walking/jogging to clear my head and keep busy. I know it is best for my health overall--but I sure hope this weight loss journey has a significant impact on my infertility issues. It is such a struggle with all of my hormones being so out of whack to lose a single pound. It is so frustrating! Any normal person would have lost a lot more than 30 pounds by now. I have to give myself credit for those 30, but I wish I was "normal" sometimes. Then again, if I was "normal" I wouldn't have put on all this weight for "no real reason"...PCOS is a mean "B" sometimes!

I've got to get back to housework while the grout is being done in the kitchen. 

I hope to hear from some of you! Let me know you are still here reading!

He is 8...

Happy 8th birthday son, as the years go by--I only miss you more and more. I wonder what your teeny little voice has changed into, I wonder if you still love music as much as you did. I wonder what your favorite subject in school is. I wonder if you know how much you mean to me and how badly I want to love all over you and hold you in my arms forever. I miss when you used to whisper in my ear "don't worry Mommy--be happy" You were such a bright young boy at such a young age. It has been 3 years since I've had the privilege of seeing your handsome and precious face and the joy of holding you tight. I miss your blond hair and huge blue eyes. I miss how you used to be the cutest little rapper! I miss your teeny little hands and how they would always hold mine tight. I miss making up the silliest songs to rock you to sleep with. I miss wiping your tears away and telling you that I love you over and over again. I hope you still hear that in your head... Mommy loves you. I can't help but cry and cry on this day, your birthday. I hope today you have tons of yummy cake--your favorite kind. I hope today your wishes come true and you have a ton of laughs with friends and everyone sings to you! I hope today you feel love and happiness. I hope to see you again someday and kiss that perfect little nose.

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Thank you so much,
Amy


Co-Founder & Board Member
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