September 11, 2011

Where were you on this tragic day 10 years ago? What do you remember?

I was in the hospital getting testing done, a nurse walked over and asked if she could change the channel from MTV...and she said "I think we are under attack." Right as she changed the channel, the second plane hit. I watched in confusion and didn't really understand why a plane would crash into a building?? After my testing, my grandmother drove me back to my high school where I found everyone in hysteria and no class was in running order. All the televisions were tuned into the news and tears were wept in every single class. School was let out two hours early. I was scared.

Today was a good day. Step mommy was out to play! I love that boy dearly and we had a ton of fun. Went to lunch, and then a bunch of school shopping. We had a "fashion show" where MIL and I took him into the dressing room and each new outfit he ran out and showed his daddy and said "how do I look?!" Tons of laughs and fun. I wish it would happen more. DH deserves to be the wonderful father he could be. I will keep myself from saying more of what I want to say.

I will say though that I pray that one day we can create a child together. He is an amazing and patient man, and father. He is providing, loving and is not at all what some people think he is. I am fortunate to have met him when I did, and watch his growth and to fall madly in love with each other. We have been through a lot, and face IF now, but because of the trials we have surpassed, I am confident no matter the outcome of this that we WILL get through it. So long as I work on my insecurities and love myself through each BFN.

I am pretty sure I O'ed today... I felt some pains yesterday (less than when on Clomid) and have a ton of EWCM today. I haven't looked at my chart but I'm pretty sure each month on Clomid I o'ed on the 10th or 11th-ish. We've enjoyed each other a lot more. Haven't woke up wondering if I should bd today or not. I feel a bit more relaxed. Less obsessed, sad and anxious. I have logged onto a few forums to see a few bfp's and I actually smiled and clapped (probably looked crazy sitting here!) I feel that we made a good choice taking a break. I'm still following all of your blogs and praying for your success!