Saturday, April 7, 2012

Looking back 4 pictures.

Very much BRAVERY is required for this post.

I am going to take you back to May 14th, 2008. (My 24th birthday!)
I had just had a minor TIA mini stroke.. yet, still truckin'! Little did I know, a month later I'd have another one that would land me longer in the hospital and unable to walk right for four months. I think this coupled with PCOS is what started my weight gain.....

Here I am on my Birthday in 2008.. 9 sizes smaller than I am now.

Let's fast forward to May 2009....By this time I was already trying to cover up part of my body in pictures wearing baggy huge clothes....was already up many sizes. PCOS must have been present by then, not taking care of myself, having no idea why it was so hard to lose weight. Going through MAJOR depression....

Don't you just love that ugly pink parachute I am wearing??

Now lets go to some time in May 2010... Again, covering up as much as possible...wearing tight shirts under my shirts to try to suck it all in...just trying to blend in...

Let's toss in one from July 2010---an engagement shot...(notice the one here at the top of my blog is cropped as much as possible..I felt so ugly after seeing the hundreds of pictures, I cried that night. The arms, the double chin....I was getting worse, not better. By this time--I would go months without periods, had no clue what was going on, why no diet was working...

Now let's go to my bridal shower which was September 2010 (trying so hard to lose weight before the wedding. With only an 8 pound success)

I am already a size 17/18 here....

I'll throw in one right before my wedding...that morning in fact---just because. SO unattractive. (October 2010)

And here is one in my dress. I just love how I look pregnant, full of acne by this time. That day I refused to not wear something to cover my huge arms.

The first few months of my marriage were the toughest of my entire relationship with Robert. Some scary things happened that threatened our marriage, our new home was in disarray through the extreme remodels going on. I lost sense of time, and sense of self at that time.

Let's fast forward to May of 2011. This picture was literally taken days before I broke my ankle. I took this photo in hopes of starting a weight loss journey then... but little did I know I wouldn't be able to walk or stand or anything for the next several months. By this time I'm already pretty much a size 20...and I'd gain 20 more pounds and barely fit into a size 20 in the next few months. I would, though in this time, get my PCOS diagnosis. FINALLY!

Now, since this weight in this picture, I've lost around 23 pounds.

This picture is at an 18 pound weight loss....

Let's remind everyone:

I can not wait to love myself again. I am so glad that I know now what has caused so much weight gain, and how I can treat it, and I hope I stay motivated. I'm glad I found this picture from 4 years ago today.

PCOS, You will not control my life anymore! Even if you keep me from having a baby, you will NOT keep me from being sexy anymore! I will gain my body back. I will love myself again. I can do this!

1 comment:

  1. As someone who completely understands what you're going through, let me just say that I love how you're going to kick PCOS's ass! And it also needs to be said that you deserve to love yourself NOW. You are, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful souls that I have had the pleasure of knowing in this life. No matter what you look like on the outside, it truly is what's inside that counts. And what you have on the inside makes you eternally beautiful.

    I completely understand the need to love what you see on the outside. I'm going through the same struggle thanks to PCOS. Always remember that you are a strong, beautiful woman who can get through whatever b.s. life throws at her. And always remember that you have a TON of people who are here to support you. Including me! Love ya, girl! Now, go kick some PCOS BUTT!!!


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