July 24, 2011 12DPO

I use an app on my phone to track my cycle, also I look at the ticker here on my blog, and each are different, one says AF should arrive in 2 days, one says in 4 days... So I've decided to hold off and test in 5 days to be sure. I only have one in my posession (limited myself this time!) I wanted to put myself in this situation so that I wouldn't be tempted to test early-knowing I only have one in the house keeps me from trying to use it.

Symptoms lately come and go. I've had a lot of severe insomnia (1 1/2 hours of sleep at night, and sometimes 4 or 5 hours at night if I'm lucky) I find myself just falling asleep in the middle of the day for 20 minutes or more (which feels like pregnancy exhaustion but obviously could be because of the insomnia.) I have had these sharp, quick pains near my ovary area. A big pulling sensation near my pelvis when I move too quick or if I'm laying down and roll over or sit up. I have uncontrollable emotions. Today I went from yelling and screaming and slamming doors, to bawling my eyes out, to laughing my head off to passing out on the bed all in a matter of five minutes! Talk about a mad woman!!! POOR DH.... I have a craving for salt, and I HATE salty anything. I have hunger so bad that I can't get full then there are times where I am not hungry at all for many hours. My breasts hurt very bad when my nipples are erect...I can't even lay on my stomach when that happens. Some diarrhea. Crazy vivid dreams...even where I was wearing exactly what I was wearing when I fell asleep, and I went to the bathroom in my dream to POAS and everything was exactly right--which is never true in my dreams...rooms look different, places are different.. nope not this time. I can't keep one train of thought for long (I've been writing this for over 20 minutes...grrr) Life has been so hectic and busy that I didn't go get my progesterone level checked! YUCK. I had bleeding gums one night. Yesterday I was so crampy like AF was on her way..even my lower back was killing me.

I also know that a lot of these symptoms are caused by AF and Clomid, so of course it is all confusing...and I've started to symptom spot, which I had avoided most of this cycle. I, of course googled a possible due date.. OF COURSE.

Today was SIL's baby shower, I did not go. I feel it was best for me, especially since all of the emotions I've been feeling this week...I would have had an emotional break down :(

I feel like I'm in a depression. I went out today to get ready for a concert tomorrow night (my birthday gift from DH in May) and that was the first time I've been "out" in weeks. I am kind of "spacey." I hope this all passes, of course I'm praying and praying for a BFP. But, pray is all I can do.