Happy 5th Birthday little stepson!
I love you more and more every day!
I remember when I first met you at your mommy's house when you were still a baby. It's been wonderful to watch you grow and learn. You're a beautiful little soul and a handsome little boy just like your daddy.
I'm sad that I don't see you often, but so glad for the fun times we do have! I am so happy your daddy got to talk to you today! He called me and told me and I could hear the smile in his voice. I hope you were able to give your mommy your special art project you made for her when she was in the hospital. You did so great on that! I love you so much and can't wait to take you back to the amusement park and do some more artwork with you.
Love always, Mama Amy!
Today has been a pretty good day. We had our Godchildren yesterday and today, so they spent the night. We decided to blindfold them yesterday and surprise them with a trip to the amusement park! They were told we were taking them to the wild wild west over the mountains, they fell for it!!!! We took the long route (down the street) and DH said he needed to stop to use the bathroom (we were really parking at the amusement park) and we took them out of the car and took off their blindfolds and it was so fun to see the looks on their faces!!! We all had such a good time. DH is at work today, so its just been me, the god kids, and my friend (their mother). We got online and registered her sister for her baby registry (yes, yet another baby due around the new year, sigh.) That was fun, and the kids have been rolling around the back yard, picking oranges and playing with the puppies all day! Just finished bathing them, then I will be ordering pizza for dinner and taking them home. After dinner, DH and I have a date at the mall to pick out some things for our future kitchen and some Christmas Gifts!
I'll update more soon, have a good hump day everyone! *wink, wink!*
~A look into the life of infertility struggles, sorrows, accomplishments and hope~
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
On to grateful...
I needed to just get through yesterday, and that I did.
I spent the day on the couch and allowed myself to cry to every thought, every commercial, anything that made me tear up, I just let it flow which I usually try to hold it back and swallow. DH had to work overtime so that gave me more time alone and to get it together before he came home. He got home and said that the day must have been difficult for me so he wanted to pick up dinner instead of me having to cook, which I was very thankful for. I'm glad I'm able to get through these rough days better. It never gets easier but does become more bearable when I have so much love and support.
Speaking of love and support, I have something to share. I am absolutely amazed that God has placed certain people in my life who walk the same journey I am on right now through infertility. I can not believe the astounding support, encouragement and love that I feel. I got a gift in the mail from a very special blogger, one who I've followed since I joined the blogging world, and one that has followed me and supported me through each cycle I've had since beginning to blog. I opened my door and saw this box, ran to the kitchen to get the scissors....cut it open and pulled out a card, a stuffed monkey and a piece of paper. I opened the card, and tears immediately started flowing down my face. This monkey was blessed using the Fertility Blessing. This is something she had received from her sister right before her last cycle (now pregnant with triplets!) Her sister insists that it worked. She, her sister and mother said the fertility prayer while holding it, so it has extra power! I immediately felt so special. I stood there hugging the monkey and sobbing...I would have never imagined that a perfect stranger and her family would care so deeply about my dreams, about my emotions, and want to give me so much hope. I never thought I'd be so cared for from other women on this journey. I do not have a mother to walk through this with...but let me tell you Crystal, you are that mother, that sister, that friend I need. I've never met you, but I feel like I've known you forever. I feel that you, Jess, and I will stay in contact for a very long time. I was also told to rub the monkey on my belly when I'm done BD'ing...which I giggled and told my husband that a monkey will be joining us in bed!!! Did I mention the monkey giggles himself? I am grateful for amazing souls out there. I truly feel blessed.
Here is a picture of my special little guy:
The Fertility Blessing reads:
You know my deep desire for a child
A little one to love and to hold, to care for,
to cherish. Grant that my body may conceive
and give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby in
Your holy image.
Guide me in all my choices so that this
conception, my pregnancy and my baby's birth
are in line with Your will.
Heavenly Father and Holy Mother,
hear this prayer of my heart, mind and spirit.
Amen
I spent the day on the couch and allowed myself to cry to every thought, every commercial, anything that made me tear up, I just let it flow which I usually try to hold it back and swallow. DH had to work overtime so that gave me more time alone and to get it together before he came home. He got home and said that the day must have been difficult for me so he wanted to pick up dinner instead of me having to cook, which I was very thankful for. I'm glad I'm able to get through these rough days better. It never gets easier but does become more bearable when I have so much love and support.
Speaking of love and support, I have something to share. I am absolutely amazed that God has placed certain people in my life who walk the same journey I am on right now through infertility. I can not believe the astounding support, encouragement and love that I feel. I got a gift in the mail from a very special blogger, one who I've followed since I joined the blogging world, and one that has followed me and supported me through each cycle I've had since beginning to blog. I opened my door and saw this box, ran to the kitchen to get the scissors....cut it open and pulled out a card, a stuffed monkey and a piece of paper. I opened the card, and tears immediately started flowing down my face. This monkey was blessed using the Fertility Blessing. This is something she had received from her sister right before her last cycle (now pregnant with triplets!) Her sister insists that it worked. She, her sister and mother said the fertility prayer while holding it, so it has extra power! I immediately felt so special. I stood there hugging the monkey and sobbing...I would have never imagined that a perfect stranger and her family would care so deeply about my dreams, about my emotions, and want to give me so much hope. I never thought I'd be so cared for from other women on this journey. I do not have a mother to walk through this with...but let me tell you Crystal, you are that mother, that sister, that friend I need. I've never met you, but I feel like I've known you forever. I feel that you, Jess, and I will stay in contact for a very long time. I was also told to rub the monkey on my belly when I'm done BD'ing...which I giggled and told my husband that a monkey will be joining us in bed!!! Did I mention the monkey giggles himself? I am grateful for amazing souls out there. I truly feel blessed.
Here is a picture of my special little guy:
The Fertility Blessing reads:
You know my deep desire for a child
A little one to love and to hold, to care for,
to cherish. Grant that my body may conceive
and give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby in
Your holy image.
Guide me in all my choices so that this
conception, my pregnancy and my baby's birth
are in line with Your will.
Heavenly Father and Holy Mother,
hear this prayer of my heart, mind and spirit.
Amen
Thanksgiving was also amazing. A ton of fun, and a great time to be around DH's family. I even lost 1.8 pounds, not gained! We did Black Friday shopping which was an adventure and a half! Got everything done by 1:20 am and that includes two stores!
I'm feeling blessed and grateful today. I thank each and every one of you who stop by and read my open book of emotions, I thank those of you who leave supportive comments and those of you who think about me and Robert as we go through this difficult but very educational journey in our lives. Its humbling knowing so many women go through this, and I hope to support as many of you out there as I can.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
9 years old...
If this post doesn't make sense, please refer to July 29th's post.
My firstborn turns 9 today. I can't believe its been that long.
Happy 9th Birthday little one. I love you and always will. I hope today, wherever you are, that you feel so special and all of your wishes come true. I hope to see you again some day. I can't tell you how much I love you and miss you every single day. You have grown into a beautiful, very smart and loving little girl.
You are an amazing little soul and I'll never stop loving you. Ever.
Happy Birthday baby girl.
Not going to hold back the tears today. I'm allowed to cry, right?
My firstborn turns 9 today. I can't believe its been that long.
Happy 9th Birthday little one. I love you and always will. I hope today, wherever you are, that you feel so special and all of your wishes come true. I hope to see you again some day. I can't tell you how much I love you and miss you every single day. You have grown into a beautiful, very smart and loving little girl.
You are an amazing little soul and I'll never stop loving you. Ever.
Happy Birthday baby girl.
Not going to hold back the tears today. I'm allowed to cry, right?
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Liebster Blog Award!!!
Just in time for the holiday season, there is some serious blog love circulating the blogosphere!
Liebster is a German word which means "dearest" or "beloved." It is also used to refer to as someone's "favorite" and the idea of the Liebster Blog Award is to bring attention to blogs with less than 200 followers that deserve more recognition and encouragement. So, this award is to share with those blogs that you love to love... you know... the ones that you can't wait to see a new post from because some how, some way, the blogger seems to always put words to things in a way that touch deeply to the core of us.
Yesterday, I was honored to have received this from Lady Bug of myjourneytoconception! Thank you so much, I feel humbled and grateful!
Just as much as I wanted to keep the award for myself, there are certain rules that are to be followed:
Liebster is a German word which means "dearest" or "beloved." It is also used to refer to as someone's "favorite" and the idea of the Liebster Blog Award is to bring attention to blogs with less than 200 followers that deserve more recognition and encouragement. So, this award is to share with those blogs that you love to love... you know... the ones that you can't wait to see a new post from because some how, some way, the blogger seems to always put words to things in a way that touch deeply to the core of us.
Yesterday, I was honored to have received this from Lady Bug of myjourneytoconception! Thank you so much, I feel humbled and grateful!
Just as much as I wanted to keep the award for myself, there are certain rules that are to be followed:
- Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
- Reveal your top five picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
- Copy and paste the award on your blog
- Hope that the people you've sent the award to forward it to their five favorite bloggers and keep it going!
I've been following and reading a ton of blogs and I am very grateful for each and every one that I read, for your experiences, emotions, and words help me understand that I am not alone and help me learn new things. I can only pick five so here you are:
- Browning2222 from itistime you've truly become an inspiration and IF sister that I'll forever be grateful for. Your gift in the mail will forever be so special to me and you will be an amazing mother to your triplets!
- Jess at mynotesonttcandlife I'm always so grateful for your encouraging words and spark of hope you always give me when I'm feeling my lowest. Someday we will both get our BFP!
- Kelli (Cinderella Wore Glass Slippers) at beforetheclockstrikestwelve You're such a strong and inspirational woman who is an amazing supporter to me!
- Liz at ttcandcookin who has given me a ton of hope, and Its been fun following her journey now that she is blessed with what we are all aiming for: a child, a family!
- Baby Hopes at chasingourstork it is always inspirational to come home and read your blog...I'm so happy for you and your future as a mother!
Congratulations, Thank you so much for everything!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Wicked Witch of the West.
How fitting that is right now.Here's why:
Witch= your period. AF is the witch!
Witch=exactly what I am today. A mean old witch!
Oh, and I live on the WEST coast, so today I'm the witch of the west...WICKED witch of the west!
One more reason: I FEEL LIKE MASSIVE HOUSE FELL ON TOP OF ME!
If only I could have those sparkly ruby red heels.... so so pretty...
Today started off on a
DH had the day off so I let him sleep in while I got up and had some coffee and showered. Then I just threw the biggest hissy fit you've ever seen over not being able to find my blow dryer. How ridiculous is that?! Seriously, I need to calm down! IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN! I swear my hormones are so jacked up. Such extreme moods. I'm pretty good at yelling at poor DH. IF I ONLY HAD A HEART! I started bawling a bit after that. Just bawling my eyes out realizing more holidays without children. My two, or even just one of our own. THAT came from no where. IF I ONLY HAD COURAGE! Finally DH and I calmed down, we went to lunch--which was very nice, then went shopping for makings for MIL's cake (her birthday is tomorrow) and the makings for some cute treats I am going to bring to Thanksgiving dinner at the in law's house. It was nice to finish the day on a good note... looks like we did make it to Emerald City after all.
Things are getting nuts. Looks like the kitchen will take longer than we thought and will require more to be done than we thought. At least no DEMOLITION has happened yet and I'm still able to cook and clean...It's going to be rough when we can't but so worth that struggle in the end.
Can't get Dr. K's office to call me back, looking like I won't get Clomid for the correct cycle days this month, so maybe have to start it next cycle. At least I have the Provera for when I notice AF is late. I just need to pull through these next few months. December and January, oh and February will be tough for me emotionally and there will be a lot of stressful things happening and quite a few babies being born...all around us. I must keep praying and having faith. We must keep praying together as husband and wife that God will get us through this and for us to better understand his plan in our marriage and lives.
Side note: Go Country 105 just played a song dedicated to DH. Just so happened he was listening at that moment from the bedroom. Ginny said "next is 'Come a Little Closer' dedicated to Robert Schoales from his wife Amy... they just settled an argument." Was a good way to let him know I was sorry. Gawsh I love technology these days <3
Monday, November 21, 2011
Late adventures. TMI ALERT!
TMI. TMI. TMI
If you're not into TMI, don't read.
After wonderful, beautiful and very fun BD'ing---DH and I turned up the lights, kissed and looked down.
WHOA! Who was killed on the bed?!!!!! Murder scene alert.
Ok, so it wasn't THAT bad!
I'm screaming "Wash Cloth, COLD WATER, NOOOWWW!"
DH laughs, runs and gets a wash cloth soaked in cold water and returns. Scrub. Scrub. Scrub. WHEW!
(TIP: Ice cold water gets rid of blood in any fabric if applied immediately!)
YUUUPP, AF made her appearance, during BD--obviously. OH my GOSH. How embarrassing? I was like I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry. My hunny laughed and said no worries, it's natural. Glad she came on her own. After my second Provera pill she's here... wow. I'm glad she's here though. Get it over and done with.
I realized I only have ONE tampon in the cupboard. CRAP! DH suggests we go on the hunt for a store still open selling tampons. Even though he has to be up in six hours he WILL NOT allow me to go out by myself, especially since it's raining. I regretfully agree.
We turned it into a fun adventure. Stopped and fulfilled a quesadilla craving and found a 24 hour Walmart about fifteen minutes away. WHEW! (He even got me a chocolate bar, shame on me!)
I'm so grateful to have my husband. What a wonderful man he is! I'm just glad af is here, and ready to move on. Calling Dr. K tomorrow and requesting Clomid prescription. Time to actually ovulate and have regular periods. This is just silly and stupid.
Hopefully this post made you laugh, I figured some of you have similar experiences! Why not laugh about the silly, crazy things that happen to us women?!!!
Well, cramps--HELLO. Hot Pack, you're amazing, and chocolate bar---you were like heaven to me!
Good Night Friends.
If you're not into TMI, don't read.
After wonderful, beautiful and very fun BD'ing---DH and I turned up the lights, kissed and looked down.
WHOA! Who was killed on the bed?!!!!! Murder scene alert.
Ok, so it wasn't THAT bad!
I'm screaming "Wash Cloth, COLD WATER, NOOOWWW!"
DH laughs, runs and gets a wash cloth soaked in cold water and returns. Scrub. Scrub. Scrub. WHEW!
(TIP: Ice cold water gets rid of blood in any fabric if applied immediately!)
YUUUPP, AF made her appearance, during BD--obviously. OH my GOSH. How embarrassing? I was like I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry. My hunny laughed and said no worries, it's natural. Glad she came on her own. After my second Provera pill she's here... wow. I'm glad she's here though. Get it over and done with.
I realized I only have ONE tampon in the cupboard. CRAP! DH suggests we go on the hunt for a store still open selling tampons. Even though he has to be up in six hours he WILL NOT allow me to go out by myself, especially since it's raining. I regretfully agree.
We turned it into a fun adventure. Stopped and fulfilled a quesadilla craving and found a 24 hour Walmart about fifteen minutes away. WHEW! (He even got me a chocolate bar, shame on me!)
I'm so grateful to have my husband. What a wonderful man he is! I'm just glad af is here, and ready to move on. Calling Dr. K tomorrow and requesting Clomid prescription. Time to actually ovulate and have regular periods. This is just silly and stupid.
Hopefully this post made you laugh, I figured some of you have similar experiences! Why not laugh about the silly, crazy things that happen to us women?!!!
Well, cramps--HELLO. Hot Pack, you're amazing, and chocolate bar---you were like heaven to me!
Good Night Friends.
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