Thursday, October 13, 2011

Something in the water

Does someone want to tell me where to find this water that every other woman on the planet is drinking? This magic, get me pregnant, almost immediately after drinking the water, water. Seriously, how can I know over thirty pregnant women now? HOW does this happen, and more so---why? Why does it need to be thrown in my face every single day? Why is it that most women out there can just "decide" one day to start trying and the next cycle they are announcing their BFP's? I am so annoyed with this. It makes me feel ugly, useless, worthless and awful. VERY AWFUL. I know I want to wait a couple of months, but in the mean time, why do I have to be swimming in other's bfp's? I hate the fact that I'm broken. Totally broken.

I can't wait to get to my doctor's office tomorrow, tell her I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Get back on all of my medicines for my medical conditions and not be in pain, lose more weight, and vent to her just how sad and frustrated I am. I'm totally making her do something about this ridiculous insomnia. I am ready to not be in pain at least. Lose some more weight, a lot more weight. At least that will keep me busy. Maybe make me feel good in SOME way.

As for those girls that shouldn't be pregnant right now (in my opinion) (not married or even in a serious relationship, no money, no job, immature, no stability, already have kids and don't take good care of them) You should really stop complaining all over the internet about how tired you are, how sick you are, or how fat you are or how you can't wait to get "it" out. You have no idea how bad some women desire to have a family with their husbands. Women who are soooo ready and yet struggling to conceive. Consider what you say before you say it! Stop complaining and focus on becoming a dedicated parent, and be grateful that you are experiencing that gift that some of us long for day after day... month after month.. year after year.

There! How's that for a vent tonight?!

1 comment:

  1. Wish I could give you a Hug.

    I was actually thinking about you last night wondering how you were. Even though you may feel ugly, useless, worthless and awful you definitely are NOT.


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