Yesterday evening while driving home from the garden store with DH, I stared off into the sunset. Dreaming of it's beauty in front of me, it made me think of my childhood.
I often remember the sunset being a sad time for me, I still can't fully comprehend why. As the night would draw to a close, I often felt empty, lonely, sad, and wished it was still light outside.
Yesterday was different though. As I sat in the car listening to oldies, holding my husband's hand--- I was grateful. I was grateful that I was enjoying that sunset with someone who has stood by me through some of my roughest days and loved me through some ugly times, happy to be ending my day with him. I peeked out of the corner of my eye at him and he had a small grin on his face as he was driving towards our home. I wondered what he was thinking? I often wonder what he is thinking. Especially recently, during this TTC journey. He opens up every now and then, but I often think he feels he needs to be the strong one when we get another BFN. I told him its okay if he's sad too. He will often say he's not sad, he's still hopeful. I love him dearly.
I've been editing some pictures for fun, and I'm going to add one I made from one of our engagement shots.
Thinking about pregnancy and ttc a lot today while doing housework. Not sad, just thinking... Not seeing enough BFP's on the ttc forums and blogs lately...but seeing a lot elsewhere. I sure hope that my IF sisters out there in the world receive blessings...I know how it feels to want something so bad, and I wish this upon no one. I pray for us all constantly.
A special "shoutout" to Browning2222, one of my biggest supporters. Thank you for all of your kind words, and gentle encouragement. I hope I do the same for you, and I hope I can be of support to as many women out there going through infertility as possible.