5 years old...

Happy 5th Birthday little stepson!
I love you more and more every day!
I remember when I first met you at your mommy's house when you were still a baby. It's been wonderful to watch you grow and learn. You're a beautiful little soul and a handsome little boy just like your daddy.
I'm sad that I don't see you often, but so glad for the fun times we do have! I am so happy your daddy got to talk to you today! He called me and told me and I could hear the smile in his voice. I hope you were able to give your mommy your special art project you made for her when she was in the hospital. You did so great on that! I love you so much and can't wait to take you back to the amusement park and do some more artwork with you.
Love always, Mama Amy!



Today has been a pretty good day. We had our Godchildren yesterday and today, so they spent the night. We decided to blindfold them yesterday and surprise them with a trip to the amusement park! They were told we were taking them to the wild wild west over the mountains, they fell for it!!!! We took the long route (down the street) and DH said he needed to stop to use the bathroom (we were really parking at the amusement park) and we took them out of the car and took off their blindfolds and it was so fun to see the looks on their faces!!! We all had such a good time. DH is at work today, so its just been me, the god kids, and my friend (their mother). We got online and registered her sister for her baby registry (yes, yet another baby due around the new year, sigh.) That was fun, and the kids have been rolling around the back yard, picking oranges and playing with the puppies all day! Just finished bathing them, then I will be ordering pizza for dinner and taking them home. After dinner, DH and I have a date at the mall to pick out some things for our future kitchen and some Christmas Gifts!

I'll update more soon, have a good hump day everyone! *wink, wink!*

On to grateful...

I needed to just get through yesterday, and that I did.

I spent the day on the couch and allowed myself to cry to every thought, every commercial, anything that made me tear up, I just let it flow which I usually try to hold it back and swallow. DH had to work overtime so that gave me more time alone and to get it together before he came home. He got home and said that the day must have been difficult for me so he wanted to pick up dinner instead of me having to cook, which I was very thankful for. I'm glad I'm able to get through these rough days better. It never gets easier but does become more bearable when I have so much love and support.

Speaking of love and support, I have something to share. I am absolutely amazed that God has placed certain people in my life who walk the same journey I am on right now through infertility. I can not believe the astounding support, encouragement and love that I feel. I got a gift in the mail from a very special blogger, one who I've followed since I joined the blogging world, and one that has followed me and supported me through each cycle I've had since beginning to blog. I opened my door and saw this box, ran to the kitchen to get the scissors....cut it open and pulled out a card, a stuffed monkey and a piece of paper. I opened the card, and tears immediately started flowing down my face. This monkey was blessed using the Fertility Blessing. This is something she had received from her sister right before her last cycle (now pregnant with triplets!) Her sister insists that it worked. She, her sister and mother said the fertility prayer while holding it, so it has extra power! I immediately felt so special. I stood there hugging the monkey and sobbing...I would have never imagined that a perfect stranger and her family would care so deeply about my dreams, about my emotions, and want to give me so much hope. I never thought I'd be so cared for from other women on this journey. I do not have a mother to walk through this with...but let me tell you Crystal, you are that mother, that sister, that friend I need. I've never met you, but I feel like I've known you forever. I feel that you, Jess, and I will stay in contact for a very long time. I was also told to rub the monkey on my belly when I'm done BD'ing...which I giggled and told my husband that a monkey will be joining us in bed!!! Did I mention the monkey giggles himself? I am grateful for amazing souls out there. I truly feel blessed.
Here is a picture of my special little guy:

The Fertility Blessing reads:
You know my deep desire for a child
A little one to love and to hold, to care for,
to cherish. Grant that my body may conceive
and give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby in
Your holy image.
Guide me in all my choices so that this
conception, my pregnancy and my baby's birth
are in line with Your will.
Heavenly Father and Holy Mother,
hear this prayer of my heart, mind and spirit.

Amen

Thanksgiving was also amazing. A ton of fun, and a great time to be around DH's family. I even lost 1.8 pounds, not gained! We did Black Friday shopping which was an adventure and a half! Got everything done by 1:20 am and that includes two stores!

I'm feeling blessed and grateful today. I thank each and every one of you who stop by and read my open book of emotions, I thank those of you who leave supportive comments and those of you who think about me and Robert as we go through this difficult but very educational journey in our lives. Its humbling knowing so many women go through this, and I hope to support as many of you out there as I can. 

9 years old...

If this post doesn't make sense, please refer to July 29th's post.

My firstborn turns 9 today. I can't believe its been that long.
Happy 9th Birthday little one. I love you and always will. I hope today, wherever you are, that you feel so special and all of your wishes come true. I hope to see you again some day. I can't tell you how much I love you and miss you every single day. You have grown into a beautiful, very smart and loving little girl.
You are an amazing little soul and I'll never stop loving you. Ever.
Happy Birthday baby girl.

Not going to hold back the tears today. I'm allowed to cry, right?

Liebster Blog Award!!!

Just in time for the holiday season, there is some serious blog love circulating the blogosphere!


Liebster is a German word which means "dearest" or "beloved." It is also used to refer to as someone's "favorite" and the idea of the Liebster Blog Award is to bring attention to blogs with less than 200 followers that deserve more recognition and encouragement. So, this award is to share with those blogs that you love to love... you know... the ones that you can't wait to see a new post from because some how, some way, the blogger seems to always put words to things in a way that touch deeply to the core of us. 


Yesterday, I was honored to have received this from Lady Bug of  myjourneytoconception! Thank you so much, I feel humbled and grateful!


Just as much as I wanted to keep the award for myself, there are certain rules that are to be followed:

• Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
• Reveal your top five picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
• Copy and paste the award on your blog
• Hope that the people you've sent the award to forward it to their five favorite bloggers and keep it going!

I've been following and reading a ton of blogs and I am very grateful for each and every one that I read, for your experiences, emotions, and words help me understand that I am not alone and help me learn new things. I can only pick five so here you are:

• Browning2222 from itistime you've truly become an inspiration and IF sister that I'll forever be grateful for. Your gift in the mail will forever be so special to me and you will be an amazing mother to your triplets!
• Jess at mynotesonttcandlife I'm always so grateful for your encouraging words and spark of hope you always give me when I'm feeling my lowest. Someday we will both get our BFP!
• Kelli (Cinderella Wore Glass Slippers) at beforetheclockstrikestwelve You're such a strong and inspirational woman who is an amazing supporter to me! 
• Liz at ttcandcookin who has given me a ton of hope, and Its been fun following her journey now that she is blessed with what we are all aiming for: a child, a family!
• Baby Hopes at chasingourstork it is always inspirational to come home and read your blog...I'm so happy for you and your future as a mother!

Congratulations, Thank you so much for everything!

Wicked Witch of the West.

How fitting that is right now.
Here's why:
Witch= your period. AF is the witch!
Witch=exactly what I am today. A mean old witch!
Oh, and I live on the WEST coast, so today I'm the witch of the west...WICKED witch of the west!
One more reason: I FEEL LIKE MASSIVE HOUSE FELL ON TOP OF ME!
If only I could have those sparkly ruby red heels.... so so pretty...

Today started off on a bad AWFUL note by being awakened from horrific nightmares (very common for me.)
DH had the day off so I let him sleep in while I got up and had some coffee and showered. Then I just threw the biggest hissy fit you've ever seen over not being able to find my blow dryer. How ridiculous is that?! Seriously, I need to calm down! IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN! I swear my hormones are so jacked up. Such extreme moods. I'm pretty good at yelling at poor DH. IF I ONLY HAD A HEART! I started bawling a bit after that. Just bawling my eyes out realizing more holidays without children. My two, or even just one of our own. THAT came from no where. IF I ONLY HAD COURAGE! Finally DH and I calmed down, we went to lunch--which was very nice, then went shopping for makings for MIL's cake (her birthday is tomorrow) and the makings for some cute treats I am going to bring to Thanksgiving dinner at the in law's house. It was nice to finish the day on a good note... looks like we did make it to Emerald City after all.

Things are getting nuts. Looks like the kitchen will take longer than we thought and will require more to be done than we thought. At least no DEMOLITION has happened yet and I'm still able to cook and clean...It's going to be rough when we can't but so worth that struggle in the end.

Can't get Dr. K's office to call me back, looking like I won't get Clomid for the correct cycle days this month, so maybe have to start it next cycle. At least I have the Provera for when I notice AF is late. I just need to pull through these next few months. December and January, oh and February will be tough for me emotionally and there will be a lot of stressful things happening and quite a few babies being born...all around us. I must keep praying and having faith. We must keep praying together as husband and wife that God will get us through this and for us to better understand his plan in our marriage and lives.

Side note: Go Country 105 just played a song dedicated to DH. Just so happened he was listening at that moment from the bedroom. Ginny said "next is 'Come a Little Closer' dedicated to Robert Schoales from his wife Amy... they just settled an argument." Was a good way to let him know I was sorry. Gawsh I love technology these days <3

Late adventures. TMI ALERT!

TMI. TMI. TMI

If you're not into TMI, don't read.

After wonderful, beautiful and very fun BD'ing---DH and I turned up the lights, kissed and looked down.
WHOA! Who was killed on the bed?!!!!! Murder scene alert.

Ok, so it wasn't THAT bad!

I'm screaming "Wash Cloth, COLD WATER, NOOOWWW!"
DH laughs, runs and gets a wash cloth soaked in cold water and returns. Scrub. Scrub. Scrub. WHEW!

(TIP: Ice cold water gets rid of blood in any fabric if applied immediately!)

YUUUPP, AF made her appearance, during BD--obviously. OH my GOSH. How embarrassing? I was like   I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry. My hunny laughed and said no worries, it's natural. Glad she came on her own. After my second Provera pill she's here... wow. I'm glad she's here though. Get it over and done with.

I realized I only have ONE tampon in the cupboard. CRAP! DH suggests we go on the hunt for a store still open selling tampons. Even though he has to be up in six hours he WILL NOT allow me to go out by myself, especially since it's raining. I regretfully agree.

We turned it into a fun adventure. Stopped and fulfilled a quesadilla craving and found a 24 hour Walmart about fifteen minutes away. WHEW! (He even got me a chocolate bar, shame on me!)

I'm so grateful to have my husband. What a wonderful man he is! I'm just glad af is here, and ready to move on. Calling Dr. K tomorrow and requesting Clomid prescription. Time to actually ovulate and have regular periods. This is just silly and stupid.

Hopefully this post made you laugh, I figured some of you have similar experiences! Why not laugh about the silly, crazy things that happen to us women?!!!

Well, cramps--HELLO. Hot Pack, you're amazing, and chocolate bar---you were like heaven to me!

Good Night Friends.

Ramblings from within...

FYI this post will be one of my normal all over the place, probably makes no sense, just thoughts across the board type of posts!

First of all, still no AF--and a ton of BFN's. Which in reality probably means that I did NOT ovulate. I started Provera last night in hopes to get my cycle to come! Lovely. I'm tempted to call Dr. K and ask for Clomid--just so I can ovulate and have a normal cycle. What do you think???

I've had THE WORST cramps. So sharp, both sides, lasts forever, don't want to move, what the hell was that type of cramps. I told DH maybe I have some cysts from not ovulating. Yuck.

I've been thinking...uh oh, me thinking????
I've been thinking a lot about what it would be like to be pregnant along side some of my friends. That would be so special and fun. I just don't think God thinks it's time. It makes me angry, frustrated, and sad. I can't change God's plan though. He has a reason, and I have to accept that.
Jeremiah 29:11 reads: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This verse has been stuck in my head for a couple of days. My Lord will not harm me. That is a tough one to swallow when I feel so down and distraught. When I feel like its a joke being played on me to see all of the pregnancies, have to attend baby showers, watch my friends and family go through 9 months, and give birth, and see the newborns...all the while getting BFN after BFN, I have to accept that it is not my time. But, I must not lose faith. I need to realize this is not my way.


My life has reason. My daily path will take me to a place the Lord sees fit. It is not up to me. Acceptance is the key, no matter how hard it may be.

On a side note: I wound up getting 3 hours worth of a nap yesterday morning around 9am and was able to fall asleep before midnight last night, so we'll see how tonight goes!

Yesterday was my dear stepson's birthday party. DH of course was working, so he was unable to attend. I wound up not going with the advice from MIL and FIL. I'm still excited to see pictures and know how his party at the park went!

With the major Holidays coming up so fast and so many babies being born I need to distract myself A LOT! I'm still working on losing weight, and have maintained my weight loss from last month plus a few more pounds, which is nice. I'm pretty much one size smaller, and DH has lost almost fifteen pounds himself and feels a lot better. I'm hoping to renew my gym membership soon and I'll be able to do more physical workouts there! I'm doing a lot of yoga now that DH isn't home during the day. It's so relaxing, peaceful and strengthening. I'm looking forward losing more weight and some day shopping in the normal section of the store! I'm going to try to keep motivated in that and stay strong that way. Well, darn it if I can't have a baby right now I might as well work on having a smoking hot body right?!


Ok, back to house chores and then crafting while my puppies sleep at my feet!
P.S. Don't know if anyone has noticed, but I added "Reactions" to my blog a few weeks ago, you'll see them below...

Seriously?

Here it is, before 6am, sun is going to come up soon, just made DH breakfast, sent him with a coffee and his packed lunch off to work. I'm sitting on the couch watching the news. About to do more Yoga...Going to make myself some gingerbread latte coffee....
Sounds great right?

Did I mention, I haven't been to sleep yet?

NOPE.

I even laid in bed with DH in hopes I'd drift off to dreamland.
NOTHING.

I'm starting to worry, this is getting bad. I even had pain killers last night due to a constant muscle spasm in my back (common for me.) Didn't make me fall asleep at all, although I've very sleepy...it's just getting to sleep that I have a problem with.

I miss sleeping like a normal person. Normal, whatever that is.

Looking up.

Things are starting to look up again. After side jobs for a year after being laid off and on unemployment, my dear dear husband is finally working again for good! He starts Thursday! He's back into his favorite profession. Working with animals! He'll be working at an upscale, lavish location... and has tons of room to grow in the company! They loved him! He applied yesterday, interviewed today and out of 25 candidates, and 25 voters, he got 25 out of 25 votes! Every one loved him and his experience! The company says they look forward to working with him and learning from HIM! How neat is that?

Just so happens a local school called me today to ask if I'd like to tour the campus to pursue the new career I'm looking into. I'm excited to tour soon, but not sure if I should work first and slowly ease back into school? I'm excited for the future though!

On a sad note though, this means DH can't attend his son's 5th birthday party that his ex is hosting, because he will work weekends. He feels just awful, and I understand. I hope his ex isn't too upset about this, but I'm sure she'll understand. I'm at a loss if I should go or not now... I don't know what to do.

On the baby making front, we're not sure really what is going on with my body, but I sure hope things get figured out soon. For now we are just enjoying each other and falling in love even more. Thinking about picking up medicated and monitored cycles again around the new year, but we'll see how things are by then. I know we'll know the time is right when it is here. I'm pretty sure af is on her way. I feel nausea, cramping and very emotional. It should be CD30 today so we'll see.

Looking forward to the future!

Survived.

I'm home. I went, I conquered. I survived the emotional beating. Was really good to see all the cousins and aunts. My MIL is an angel. Sat by me, kept me busy, involved me. Introduced me to my nephew...Bless her heart. She knew it was going to be extremely hard for me, and supported me the entire time. She even offered to be my "out" because she had to leave before all the gifts were open. I took it!

Yes, it was hard, yes I had a fake smile on the whole time...but I'm proud I got through it. I will say one thing, I've never seen a more perfect pregnant body in my life! WOW...Caused a pretty bad tension headache though. So here I am on the couch, DH is spoiling me rotten, got a lavender hot pad around my neck, lavender hot pack slippers on my feet, he got me a pumpkin coffee and just smiled and told me he was proud of me. Such a good man.

On a fun side it was pretty funny that I won the baby question game. Out of all the moms, and moms to be, I knew the most about babies...hahaha. Got a cute gift: Hand soap and a mini hand sanitizer from Bath and Body Works and a Starbucks giftcard! Well, a few more events to get through in the next few months... I think it will only get easier. I am just happy I'm not the hermit crab I was a few months ago.

I'm of course sad, and teary-eyed...but, this too shall pass.

That is about all for now...time to drown myself in pinterest and day dream.

Breathe! Just Breathe!

DEEEEP BREATHS....

So, while chatting with MIL at her house tonight discussing crafts and the sewing machine she's passing down to me, she brought up tomorrow. 'Tomorrow? What is tomorrow?" I asked.

Oh, your cousin's baby shower. UM? You told me it was the 20th!! (and although the invite is on the side of my fridge, I don't look at it I guess). "So hun, are you going?" "I was trying to decide, I thought I had a week to prep myself and make a gift for even if I don't go!!!" CRAP.

So I spun myself in circles (not literally, just mentally lol!) and decided last minute, I'd go. I need to stop distancing myself from family...just because of my emotions. So beware, I may barf, vomit, scream, and sob in my blog tomorrow night, who knows?

Well, I guess hubby and I aren't going to participate in the AUTISM SPEAKS walk-a-thon in Anaheim.... oh well, next time.

OK. I'mma go... Sh**...what am I going to bring? Well, I've been feeling crafty lately, so why don't I make something. I grab the keys and run to Walmart....the second I got there I realized why I never shop there anymore. Crap, crap and more crap...nothing I want or need. I literally run to the car, and drive a few blocks to Target. Target never does me wrong.

Run home, shut myself in my office, blast James Blunt on my ipod and I go to work. About ten minutes into me crafting, my DH sneaks in the room, quietly hands me a cup of Starbuck's Decaf Peppermint Mocha coffee. Bless his soul!!!!!

Well, MIL told me that cousin's baby theme is Chocolate Brown and Orange. The wee one's nickname is Little Bear. Wee one's father (DH's cousin) is one of the triplet cousins, and he was fraternal, the other two are identical, and he is a giant!!! He was called 'Bear' growing up, so they are passing that on to wee one.

So, below is my gift I put together, Tell me what you guys think!!! I'm so nervous no one will like it...I've NEVER crafted anything for a baby shower besides a diaper cake for my roommate, whom I hosted her baby shower a few years ago.

Background is month by month stickers to place on onesies during first year of baby's life I bought on Etsy a while back. Roses are made from baby wash cloths, embellished with rhinestones. Sign says "Of course I can do anything, I am a Mother." which I had in my card making drawer and just layered it with cardstock. Teddy Bear is propped on a package of Huggies wipes:




Ok, so I have to totally get up early in the morning and prepare myself all day. I want to look nice but I need to be in the right emotional state. I'm not riding with MIL, so I can leave if I need to. I think I'll be fine though. I'm pretty close to most of DH's cousins, and my favorite aunts will be there to chat with.

DEEEEP BREATHS.....

Also, next weekend is my stepson's birthday party...which of course I want to go to, it will just be hard to be around DH's exwife who is pregnant and due in January. I don't hate her, but again, around pregnancy. Also, things have been awkward, and not fun between us all... so it will be rough. That's another emotional time. Thanksgiving with DH's family with 2 pregnant cousins, and SIL's 3 month old baby. SIGH. Then the first weekend in December is the other cousin's baby shower. OH, plus the kitchen remodel is taking longer than we thought....WOW... talk about an emotional roller coaster ahead. LORD, help me. I've got to keep it together!!!!!!

BED TIME. Or so, I hope. I curse you insomnia!

Treats! Oh, yummy Treats!

I was browsing on www.pinterest.com, and found a cute, fun, cheap dessert!
S'mores Crescent Rolls!
I did my own version, added my own touch!
Takes about five mins prep time, and ten minutes to bake.
Thought I'd share, since everyone here loved them....
and when doesn't a girl love a yummy chocolate-filled treat when we're feeling Bloated and Blue?

You'll need :
1 can of crescent rolls
1cup chocolate chips
1cup mini marshmallows
8 jumbo marsh mallows
Chocolate syrup to drizzle with
Toothpicks

Bake to follow directions on crescent roll can.

lay out rolls, add some marshmallows and chocolate chips, and roll up (be sure to close sides as marshmallows will melt and spill out the sides)

Bake as directed.

While Baking, take jumbo mallows and stick em' with a fork and slightly roast/burn them with the flame from your stove, set on a plate to the side.
Take Crescents out, use a spatula to move to desired dish, pin jumbo mallows with toothpicks and drizzle with chocolate syrup.
Voila! YUUUMMMM
here are some pictures of mine I made tonight:






If any of you readers make them, let me know how you liked them!

Tales from an insomniac:

I really don't get how I can never fall asleep at night? This is nothing new in my life, ever since I can remember I never, ever fall asleep easy.
I at least can educate myself all night long. I love reading. I drown myself in words daily. Whether it be blogs, articles, scriptures online, inspirational sayings, books or whatnot. I seem to drift into another world, and I love it! I'm amazed at how much I read a day. I love to learn constantly. Is that strange???

Tonight I've got babies on the brain. Babies everywhere. Cutest baby pictures on www.pinterest.com. Family portraits for the holidays. Newborns dressed up and stuffed in peppermint filled jars. Reindeer antlers propped on their heads. Stuffed in massive stockings. Oh the joys of babies at Christmas. I'll be congratulating quite a few people who will have newborns around the holidays. I must not get too sad. I want to be filled with gratitude and joy for these friends of mine. I want so badly to be so happy for them. How do I put myself aside? My emotions, my aching soul, my heart break? There has got to be a simple answer to this. I've tried so much. So many different ways. What is the solution? Cyber world--do you know?

I'm so proud to be so in love with the most compassionate, tolerant, loving, and patient man. How, oh how does he put up with the crazy roller coaster I ride daily? Infertility has brought our marriage into dark places, and yet we still shine that lantern until it is bright again. We press on. We walk hand in hand. If God's blessing of infertility has brought me but one thing positive, I must say that it has brought me to see my soul mate in a whole new light. A light that shows determination and an indescribable love. For that, I have to say I'm thankful for. The one thing I can thank my heavenly father for on this hard road he's bestowed upon us. Everything, everything happens for a reason. And, not just any reason... HIS reason, HIS will, HIS plan.

My body is acting like I'm on clomid. A few hot flashes, sore bbs on and off, some twinges in my ovary. One day of belly button pain. A couple waves of nausea. Maybe, just maybe I ovulated on my own. If so, I'll be proud of my lady bits! Proud that they accomplished THAT this month.

Well, first attempt to go to sleep is in order. My IF sisters, you're all in my thoughts as I lay my head down tonight.

Psychic Prediction

There has been a lot of talk going around the closed groups on facebook and TTC forums that I am a member of. They say this lady named Cheri does psychic predictions and she's been spot on with most of these ladies when it comes to TTC and pregnancy. I thought about it for a while and thought why not? It was all in good humor and gave me something to look forward to in the next couple of days.

Now, I don't really believe in this stuff and think it is somewhat silly, but had the extra time and a few extra bucks, so why not? Might be fun.

I made my twelve dollar payment and emailed her "My name is Amy, and this would be a TTC prediction."

Here is what I got back three days later:

Hi Amy

I am really sorry to feel what you have been up against in your life. Sounds like your plate is full and your unsure of how to clean it off....This might not mean much, but I care about you. You have so much to give people and in return you dont seem to get as much back. I am sorry to hear that.

They are showing me a BOY and they link him to OCTOBER so this is either the birth month, conceive month, or the month you find out in. I am sensing a lot of depression in your life which could be negatively affecting your ttc efforts...take a deep breath and try and do an emotional cleanse. I can walk you through it if you like.

When it comes to your son, hes about getting things right and doing it himself. You can tell he would rather watch you do it first, and then be able to do it on his own the next time. hes always good with being able to watch something being done and then mimicking what he has seen. You will find him to always enjoy social activities and always asking  you to take him out. Whether it is to a park or to a kids drop in program, hes always going to love being around other kids his age.

They show him being very protective of you. Always standing by you when he thinks that your feeling upset. Willing to tell someone to leave you alone if he thinks that your mad at them. its always really cute when he does that especially if you are just fine. Even as an adult you will find him to always remain close to home. No more than a thirty minute drive from where you live and is always wanting to come one day a week to have family dinner. Always the one to reach out to you, always offering to help you run errands, You can always count on him to be there when you need him.

When it comes to career paths, they show him working as a Police Officer. I do get the impression that his job is very intense and fast paced.

When it comes to marriage I see him closer to 29. They will have two girls of their own.

Let me know if you have any questions. 

Best Wishes,

Cheri

WOW! LITTLE DOES SHE KNOW THAT DH'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY IS FULL OF LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS! And for her to know of my depression was interesting. She also was right on with the part where I give and give and don't seem to get much in return... I've even been told that I was a doormat. October? Well, that is last month...so according to her, I am either pregnant right now and should find out in about ten days, or will conceive, find out or give birth in October 2012. I googled that and if my body sticks to this cycle schedule and I succesfully ovulate each month, I'd conceive around the very end of January and the baby would be due on our Wedding anniversary! Neat huh? 

Yeah, I'm not going to say she's right. It was all in good fun, and innocent humor. 

It would just freak me out if everything she said did come to fruition. 

For now I'll take the smiles, and laughter that DH and I enjoyed while reading her prediction. 

If you're interested on a prediction on love, finances, pregnancy, family, TTC or anything,

here's her website: http://www.cheri22.com/index/Cheri22.html

Insomnia again, more thoughts from my head...

This post is going to be all over the place! Prepare yourselves :)

Finally! Halloween is over! Jeepers, all those little ones dressed up so cute coming to my doorstep and being able to pass out candy to the goblins, princesses, cowboys, fairies and so many more little characters. Staring out my bay window while all of all the neighbors are putting their dressed up tiny ones on their front steps and taking bunches of pictures, the cutest little trick or treater voices. I sure spoiled em' this year. Handfuls to each kid! I enjoyed it thoroughly, but inside I have to admit that I was a little saddened. Holidays are hard, but surrounding myself with support and enjoying those around me and just "being in the moment" helps. I had a friend over and we made carne asada and pollo asada tacos on the grill and I made my special bacon-wrapped jalapeno stuffed poppers while we all three watched ghost adventures! That kept me busy, so it was fun.

DH seemed sad all night... kind of quiet. I'm pretty sure I know why. He didn't get to see his boy, or his costume, but I'm sure he'll get pictures from someone. He was sure nice to all the kiddos that came by and he complimented all of their costumes and made each of them laugh.

Tomorrow is another busy day as our electrician is showing up at 7am to install a brand new breaker box and prepare himself to wire our kitchen for new lighting in the next few weeks. We also might go pick out our backsplash in another town where my SIL found hers. I also have a lot of bloodwork to be done tomorrow... just annual stuff for my primary doc. I have a vitamin D deficiency, so we are checking up on that, blood sugars, and just a bunch of stuff. Long day ahead!

I've contacted a couple of my friends who are professional personal trainers and I'm considering getting one to help me on my weight loss journey as I need a special plan tailored just to me considering some of my medical conditions. I hope to reach my goal---someday. I've always struggled with weight, and I'm tired of feeling so down on myself and not healthy. It is very hard for me to lose weight, but I'm ready for any and every sacrifice and any pain it comes with. TOTALLY ready. DH is losing weight too, so far a few pounds, so it will be great to support each other.

This month is going to get crazy. I just can't believe it is already November! My gorgeous little stepson will be turning 5!!! Thanksgiving!!! Kitchen Remodel!!! Looking into schools!!! Black Friday Shopping!!! Baby showers, several birthdays, a few friends are due, and a few family gatherings!!! I have been getting nightly headaches around the same time every night for about two weeks now. I sure hope they don't continue with all of the chaos ahead!

My bbs have been sore, and getting sharp and achy pains in them. TONS of wetness down there, and lots of sharp ovary pains. I'm thinking---maybe, just maybe I O'ed on my own this cycle??? Not so sure, but maybe I did and maybe I can actually expect a scheduled AF this time!

How's that for ALL OVER THE PLACE?!

Off to try to catch a few zzz's before the sun rises.