Been doing a lot of thinking today.
Infertility sure plays with your emotions. You feel like less of a woman. Especially with PCOS and its symptoms... you just feel useless in womanhood. Not a good feeling. I am thankful though, that there is so much support and information online... thousands of strangers unite in their struggles and pour their all into simple paragraphs of hope, fear, and trials. You never really know how difficult the journey is until you go through it yourself. I can only imagine how my DH is feeling, he is always the strong one, but now and then some emotions come out. Poor guy even has to help me to the bathroom now that I'm immobile on top of having to hear my cries and hold me through my sorrows with trying to conceive.
I sure hope one day this will all be worth it. I pray for it. Its within reach, I feel it. I just don't know when it will happen. Ever since I was a tiny girl playing house; mommy is who I want to be. I won't let my fears get the best of me. I just can't. There is a grander plan that I just don't know about. I still have hope. I have to.