So, the ugly old witch has showed her ugly, painful face this afternoon. Pretty much a dagger to my heart, but I got through that feeling pretty quick. I am just happy to be able to move on and try again. The unknown was what was killing me. I've been pretty sick. Must be a stomach bug, and a really mean one. AF's painful cramps and the intestinal cramps is not a good combination!
I got to thinking today, what if it's not time? What if I'm trying to push destiny. What if I'm supposed to wait until we have more financial stability or if we are supposed to do something big before a child. I think it was just the combination of all the emotions that I have gone through this month. It has been hell going through this with a broken ankle. I'm almost glad I didn't have to go through morning sickness or something with a cast on, unable to run to the bathroom. Maybe, just maybe I really wasn't supposed to be successful this month. I think I'll use that as my excuse...for peace of mind's sake.
Time to pick myself back up, dust myself off, wipe away the tears and press on. Another round of Clomid and a month of side effects, emotions, and scheduled bd'ing ahead. I wonder if I need to do something different this time? More prayer? Attend Church? A different medicine combination? I know I need to stress less. Obsess less. Is this blog helping or hurting me?
Can you tell I'm a roller coaster of extreme up and down emotions right now????
A HUGE piece of chocolate cake please?